Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
