I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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