I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
bring money and cleavage
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
