i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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