Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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