You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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