I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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