I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
