My friends, they love my intelligence
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
