I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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