erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
