Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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