Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
