What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
