STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaÃt comercial?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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