No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
