oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My vagina is very pro this idea
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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