This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
