I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
