Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
