Please, let me fuck your mom
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
What happened to fro yo and sex?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
