She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
