My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
