okay pat passed out under dana's car
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
