If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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