hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
