It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
