You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
