I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
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remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
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The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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