he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
