I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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