You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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