3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
