I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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