We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
