I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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