hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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