Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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