i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize