I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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