I'm lost and stupid without you.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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