KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
