I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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