dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
