She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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