honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
