bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
