i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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