I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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