I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
