just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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