so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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