I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.