You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
