Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize