do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
