I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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