would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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