just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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