how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
