dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
