Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
