Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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