What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm like, not good at living.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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