Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
